1. If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
    ~Abigail Van Buren
  2. A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare. For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure.
    Henry David Thoreau
  3. If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
    George Burns
  4. At , I thought proudly: Here we are, half century! Being was fairly frightening. You want to know how I spent my th birthday? I put on a completely black face, a fuzzy black Afro wig, wore black clothes and hung a black wreath on my door.
    Bette Davis
  5. Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
    Winston Churchill
  6. I always knew I was going to be rich. I don't think I ever doubted it for a minute.
    Warren Buffett
  7. It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.
    Aeschylus
  8. "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
    Darrin Weinberg
  9. Dahling Congressman Boykin: 10 AM is an unprecedented time for a child of the grease paint to cope with the sandman.
    Tallulah Bankhead
  10. I do not want the voice of the people shut out.
    Huey Long
  11. Ain't no chance if you don't take it
    Guy Clark
  12. I am quite serious when I say that I do not believe there are, on the whole earth besides, so many intensified bores as in these United States. No man can form an adequate idea of the real meaning of the word, without coming here.
    Warren Buffett
  13. Simply having children does not make mothers.
    ~John A. Shedd
  14. Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
    Will Rogers
  15. Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.
    ~Gail Sheehy
  16. Children have more need of models than of critics.
    ~Carolyn Coats
  17. Englishmen are babes in philosophy and so prefer faction-fighting to the labour of its unfamiliar thought.
    William Butler Yates
  18. The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
    Napoleon Bonaparte
  19. Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
    Erma Bombeck
  20. The beauty of "spacing" children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones.
    ~Sydney J. Harris
  21. One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
    Franklin P. Jones
  22. Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it.
    It satisfies no normal need. I like it.
    It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
    It takes the hair right off your bean
    It's the worst darn stuff I've ever seen.
    I like it.
    ~Graham Lee Hemminger, Tobacco
  23. There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.
    ~Katharine Whitehorn
  24. Little tube of mighty pow'r,brCharmer of an idle hour,brObject of my warm desire.
    ~Isaac Hawkins Browne, "A Pipe of Tobacco"
  25. Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.
    Frank Zappa
  26. I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.
    Tallulah Bankhead
  27. Designs in connection with postage stamps and coinage may be described, I think, as the silent ambassadors on national taste.
    William Butler Yates
  28. I learned to draw everything except glamorous women. No matter how much I tried to make them look sexy, they always ended up looking silly... or like somebody's mother.
    Norman Rockwell
  29. Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?
    Solomon Short
  30. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
    Franklin P. Jones
  31. "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
    Winston Churchill


    1. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
      Douglas Adams
    2. Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
      Will Rogers
    3. A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
      Henry David Thoreau
    4. The battlefield is a scene of constant chaos. The winner will be the one who controls that chaos, both his own and the enemies.
      Napoleon Bonaparte
    5. Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.
      Andre Gide
    6. Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
      ~Elizabeth Stone
    7. If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
      ... David Daye
    8. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
      Mark Twain
    9. Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
      Will Rogers
    10. Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up'.
      ~Joe Namath
    11. A man does not know what he is saying until he knows what he is not saying.
      Gilbert K. Chesterton
    12. Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.
      Winston Churchill
    13. I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
      Warren Buffett
    14. "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
      Voltaire
    15. Child! Do not throw this book about; refrain from the unholy pleasure of cutting all the pictures out.
      Hilaire Belloc
    16. "Fish and visitors smell in three days."
      Benjamin Franklin
    17. Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.
      ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
    18. Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.
      ~Robert Schuller
    19. If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.
      ~Bette Davis
    20. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
      For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway
    21. Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
      Douglas Adams
    22. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written.
      Oscar Wilde
    23. It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
      ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
    24. Diogenes struck the father when the son swore.
      ~Robert Burton, "Anatomy of Melancholy," Democritus to the Reader, 1621
    25. Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was'shut up'.
      ~Joe Namath
    26. Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
      H. L. Mencken
    27. "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
      General George S. Patton
    28. "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep"




    1. Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. - . . .Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
      Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. - . . . Winston Churchill's reply
    2. All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile, shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil. The fight to the finish spirit is the one... characteristic we must posses if we are to face the future as finishers.
      Henry David Thoreau
    3. When we drink, we get drunk.brWhen we get drunk, we fall asleep.brWhen we fall asleep, we commit no sin.br When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.brSooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
      ...Brian O'Rourke
    4. No man will ever bring out of the Presidency the reputation which carries him into it.
      Thomas Jefferson
    5. "Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting."
      - Samuel Goldwyn
    6. America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
      P. J. O'Rourke
    7. Every citizen of this country should be guaranteed that their vote matters, that their vote is counted, and that in the voting booth, their vote has a much weight as that of any CEO, any member of Congress, or any President.
      Barbara Boxer
    8. "This makes me so sore it gets my dandruff up."
      - Samuel Goldwyn
    9. Eternal Vigilance is the price of liberty.
      Thomas Jefferson
    10. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
      Dean Martin
    11. The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
      ~Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care
    12. The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
      Abraham Lincoln
    13. A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
      Adlai E. Stevenson
    14. Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
      Eleanor Roosevelt
    15. Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.
      Warren Buffett
    16. One of these days the people of Louisiana are going to get good government - and they aren't going to like it.
      Huey Long
    17. Do not let spacious plans for a new world divert your energies from saving what is left of the old.
      Winston Churchill
    18. none
    19. none
    20. The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.
      Napoleon Bonaparte
    21. A puritan is a person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.
      Gilbert K. Chesterton
    22. From quiet homes and first beginning,Out to the undiscovered ends,There's nothing worth the wear of winning,But laughter and the love of friends.
      Hilaire Belloc
    23. My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.
      ~Karen Brown
    24. Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
      Will Rogers
    25. I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out." Parents have to take better control.
      ~Charles Barkley
    26. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.
      ~Dave Barry
    27. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
      Ernest Hemingway
    28. The man whose authority is recent is always stern.
      Aeschylus
    29. I'm as pure as the driven slush.
      Tallulah Bankhead
    30. Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.
      ~Haim Ginott
    31. I live in terror of not being misunderstood.
      Oscar Wilde