Presidents Adams, Jefferson, and Monroe all died on the 4th of July; Coolidge was born on that day.
At a local bar, three friends, Mr. Green, Mr. Red and Mr. Blue, were having a drink. One man was wearing a red suit; one a green suit; and the other a blue suit. "Have you noticed," said the man the blue suit, "that although our suits have colors corresponding to our names, not one of us is wearing a suit that matches our own names?" Mr. Red looked at the other two and said, "You're absolutely correct."
What color suit is each man wearing?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I got a fortune cookie once that said "You like Chinese food."
But ocifer, I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Men's vows are women's traitors!
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
