January 4, 2006

At 50, I thought proudly: Here we are, half century! Being 60 was fairly frightening. You want to know how I spent my 70th birthday? I put on a completely black face, a fuzzy black Afro wig, wore black clothes and hung a black wreath on my door.
Bette Davis





Does your husband
Misbehave
Grunt and grumble
Rant and rave?
Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave


I was converted from fool when my spine was somewhat reorganized. What amazed me was how fast a perfectly robust man looking forward to nothing more terminal than a night in Toledo can cease being alive once he pulls the dreamboat out of the driveway.
Russell Baker



BANNANA FACTS
part 3 of 6
  • Bananas are perennial crops that are grown and harvested year-round. The banana plant does not grow from a seed but rather from a rhizome or bulb. Each fleshy bulb will sprout new shoots year after year.
  • Bananas have no fat, cholesterol or sodium.
  • Bananas were officially introduced to the American public at the 1876 Philadelphia Centennial Exhibition. Each banana was wrapped in foil and sold for 10 cents. Before that time, bananas came to America on the decks of sailing ships as sailors took a few stems home after traveling in the Caribbean.
  • Each banana plant bears only one stem of fruit. To produce a new stem, only two shoots - known as the daughter and the granddaughter - are allowed to grow and be cultivated from the main plant.
  • In 1516, Friar Tomas sailed to the Caribbean bringing banana roots with him; and planted bananas in the rich, fertile soil of the tropics, thus beginning the banana's future in American life.
  • In 2001, there were more than 300 banana-related accidents in Britain, most involving people slipping on skins.


    • Let us not confuse stability with stagnation.
    Mary Jean LeTendre


    "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens



    OUR FOUNDING FATHERS
    John Adams Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
    John Adams


    What goes around the world but stays in a corner?


  • "Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?"
  • POVERTY: Having too much month left at the end of the money
  • "Remember. Wherever you go, there you are."
  • "Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
  • "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."



    • Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!



    It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.